Emmet and I are walking through the Eaton Centre—Toronto’s biggest mall—still drunk from the night before, when I notice a bulge in the...

My dad raised 4 kids on his own on a salary of $25,000. And to say I was an easy kid to raise would be like saying Jared Fogle of the...

Alcoholism doesn’t run in my family, it fucking sprints. Picture Usain Bolt running the 100-metre dash at the Summer Olympics, as his...

Let’s talk about sex for a minute here... There aren’t many things that I enjoy more than getting drunk, connecting with someone dope and...

If you’re a guy you know the horrors of what I call, The “Uncontrolled Erection.” Or simply, The “U.E.” Not to be confused with The...

"I drop my pants and fuck me, man, all that's visible are my testicles. My penis is so small it looks like a child lounging on a fucking...

"WHERE THE FUCK IS MY PEN, DAD!?" I had constant night terrors as a kid. There were times where I would find myself naked in the kitchen...

“When I come to, it is pitch black and I am lying on the ground with my sweatpants around my ankles, foaming at the mouth and cranking it...

For a long time I had been living with this paranoia that I would be adulting bareback and when I pull out to finish, attached to the tip...

Motherfucking Vegas, baby! Simply put, Las Vegas is so full of sin and filth that it makes me look like a devout, door-to-door Mormon...

To say I was a disoriented tourist in the bedroom would be a disastrous understatement. I was constantly lost, bumping into the wrong...

“I can’t remember if this is for soft, or hardcore porn? In either case, the audition is clothing optional, right?” I say as I slowly...